The Gingerbread Latte: The Joey Fatone of Starbucks holiday beverages

Today I went to Starbucks and ordered the Gingerbread Latte.  I got it with one pump of syrup as opposed to the usual three and it was delicious.  But as I was sipping it, I had an epiphany: Starbucks holiday lattes are a bit like a 1980s boy-band: The Chestnut Praline Latte is the leader, the Caramel Brûlée Latte is the sensual ladies’ man, The Eggnog Latte is the Donnie Wahlberg-type tough guy who raps, and then the Gingerbread Latte is the funny guy who jokes around (e.g., Joey Fatone from N’Sync).

Perhaps this theory strikes you as a bit of a stretch, but please allow me make my case. Throughout the entirety of human history there have been four basic male archetypes: the leader, the warrior, the joker, and the ladies’ man. In medieval times you had the king, the knight, the wizard/court jester, and then that one dude who had sex with a bunch of women while everyone else was at work. These archetypes persist even to this day and were distilled to their very essence in the form of the 1980s boy-band.  But why did boy-bands—which even today drive legions of teenaged girls wild with their sultry rhythms—so capture the imagination of society?  

The reason, gentle reader, is that they took all the attractive male qualities and put them together into a single group and then, for some reason no one really understands, had them sing songs in unison about how they wanted to—quote---"sex you up". Likewise, Starbucks has taken all of the archetypal holiday flavors and built lattes around them with the intent of appealing to as large a market as possible.  In doing so, Starbucks has really given us, the consumer, the best of both worlds: you get all the raw sexuality and seductive energy of a 98 Degrees, but with none of the crappy music.  

With that said, the Gingerbread Latte—while delicious—is unfortunately the funny guy/class clown archetype in this boy-band of holiday beverages. Yes, it perhaps lacks the sensuality of, say, a Caramel Brûlée Latte, and it will never be in the spotlight like the Chestnut Praline Latte, and maybe it doesn’t have the robust warrior-like qualities of the Eggnog Latte, but it has its own special talents to offer the Starbucks consumer.  It’s by no means a perfect beverage, but it has carved out its own niche and the whipped cream and nutmeg sprinkled on top are delicious. You've earned your place in this boy-band of holiday beverages, Gingerbread Latte. 

Verdict: A solid drink, but it will never be the star.

Score: 4 Stars and 4.5 Bucks out of 10.