Blogging about Starbucks has allowed me to at last peek behind the veil and catch a coveted glimpse of the Starbucks inner circle. Doing so, as one might expect, offers the regular customer numerous perks, including the opportunity to potentially drink several litres of expired watermelon juice in one sitting, being able to hear baristas discuss unfortunate tinder experiences, and the opportunity to view several hundred vaguely incomprehensible imgur memes involving characters from the Japanese anime series Pokemon.
A few nights ago when I got all that sweet watermelon juice, I noticed a card on the long bar that divides the patrons from the baristas. I asked who the card was for and was told that a regular had died and the baristas had all gotten together to make him a card. I found the story touching and it’s one of the things I really love about my Starbucks. It gave me the incomplete hope that if I were to die then perhaps the baristas would get together and make a card for me, too. Maybe they’d write stuff like, “Hey, Jason! Word on the street is you’re dead!”—OK, maybe I haven’t thought so much about the logistics behind how this card would actually work in practice, but I was nevertheless moved by the idea.
I came back to this very same Starbucks after work yesterday and again cracked the elusive Starbucks inner circle, sitting with baristas, including one who was off the clock and discussing her recent dating experiences. She had a great story about how before one recent date she had told the guy how she loves sweet potato fries. Then I guess while she was in the bathroom or something during their meal, the guy had arranged for there to be roughly seven pounds of sweet potato fries waiting for her when she got back. Incidentally, I used to always do little romantic gestures like that on my dates too, but then I’d inevitably screw it up by yelling, “YOU WILL EAT ALL SEVEN POUNDS OF THOSE SWEET POTATO FRIES RIGHT NOW, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”
Yeah, dating is hard.
But it sounds like this guy avoided such classic dating pitfalls and did everything right for the remainder of the night---I guess we’ll just have to tune into the next season of this blog to see how their relationship blossoms.
So, yes, I got to experience every aspect of the human condition from love to death (and now that I think about it, pretty much just those two things) during my two-day stint in the Starbucks inner circle. I suppose that’s probably why everyone says that when you’re in the inner circle, the highs are so high and the lows are so low.
What’s that? No one actually says that? OK, my bad.
But I should get to my drink review. With this, the penultimate post of season one, I review the Eggnog latte, which I got yesterday after lunch. I ordered the tall version, because eggnog is no fucking joke. The eggnog is steamed and poured on top of espresso shots and the beverage is then lightly dusted with nutmeg.
Eggnog is one of those polarizing things that people either love or hate. Personally, I love it, and that along with a healthy appreciation of espresso are really the only necessary preconditions for enjoying this beverage. This is not a drink you can have every day, but it’s great to have once or twice as December rolls around. Overall, I preferred the Dirty Chegg to this one, and even the Chai-Eggnog tea latte is probably tastier overall, although it lacks the kick the espresso in the Eggnog latte offers. Still, this one is definitely worth a try, gentle reader.
Verdict: If you love eggnog and are motivated by an overwhelming sense of self-loathing and shame, this is your drink.
Score: I give this one five Stars and five Bucks out of ten.
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