Expired Watermelon Juice

People who know me know I love my kids.  Granted, I’ve spent a good chunk of their formative years drinking Jose Cuervo out of a coffee mug while watching my “White Chicks” DVD, but ultimately it’s the thought that counts. Although now that I think about it, most of my thoughts during that time were about how sweet it would be to drink some Jose Cuervo out of a coffee mug and then watch my “White Chicks” DVD.

But I guess my point is: my heart’s in the right place. Or maybe my point is that “White Chicks” is a surprisingly layered film that deserves multiple viewings while drinking Jose Cuervo out of a coffee mug.

Whatever my true point might be, I think we can all at least agree that: 1) Terry Crews possesses true comedic acting chops; and 2) it's about time I changed things up and reviewed some expired watermelon juice.

Because I’m such a great Dad (or so other pedestrians tell me after I mention in passing that I have kids), I’m always taking my son to after-school events and other extracurricular activities. Last night I took him to Cub Scouts and after I dropped him off I drove to my Starbucks. For some reason I don’t entirely understand, I got to drink a whole bunch of expired watermelon juice for free and I think it might have been the single greatest night of my life.

I should mention, first, that I’m not a big juice-guy. I had drunk maybe two or three glasses of juice in the past six months before last night. One time I tried doing a three-day juice cleanse, and roughly six hours in I had to expand my definition of juice to include stuff like Nyquil because I found the experience so intolerable.

So, yeah, you could say I was a juice-skeptic before last night.

But after my first sip, I realized I could easily do the aforementioned cleanse with expired  watermelon juice. It's fantastic. One barista, W, who was off the clock said the experience was like drinking a watermelon.  It felt profound as he said it, but after reflecting upon his statement a bit, I'm now pretty sure that's more or less the entire point of watermelon juice.

Now, if you'll excuse me, gentle reader, I have a “White Chicks” DVD to get back to.

Verdict: Like drinking a watermelon?

Score: 9 Stars and 8.5 Bucks out of 10.